The Pondy Trip- Part uno

Last November, after finishing my semester exams, i made a shocking realization. I was about to become an full fledged engineer in less than 8 months.

What's so bad you ask ?Allow me to explain compadres. 

You see each engineering college has it's own rites of passage that you have to complete before you graduate. Since mine is situated in chennai it was a good idea, nay a necessity, to go to Pondicherry (200 km away) and get sloshed.

Here are the basic steps involved-

1) Collect a bunch of nitwit friends (all male) not less than 3 and not more than 6

2) Book a cheap room whose credentials are as shady as Suresh Kalmadi's

3) Get lots and LOTS of cheap liquor.

4) Get drunk and then pass out/ throw up/ end up in the arms of a hooker/tranvestite /get arrested for being a public nuisance.

5) Come back to college a changed MAN.

Respect.

Now over the years i had seen each and everyone of my friends and classmates go to pondy (as it's affectionately called by all and sundry) but somehow due to my bad luck or due to the fact that I have assholes who don't know how to stick to plans as friends (Stupid fuckin' bitches. I hate you all) i missed out each time.

Hence,after the aforementioned exams i started panicking at the prospect of graduating without a) ever having gotten drunk and *gasp* b) without ever getting drunk in pondy.Therefore when akshay told me about his plan to go to pondy i jumped at it.


And that is how last friday me, akshay and HS landed up at Koyambedu bus terminal early morning at 6'o clock.

Now our plan was to take one of them awesome AC buses ,operated by the state goverment between chennai and pondy, which left every one hour and so we were confident of leaving chennai by 7. Max.

Waiting two hours with no sign of the AC buses did nothing to dampen over enthusiasm. Finally we were told that no AC buses were running that day and that we would have to go by the normal buses.

Now here's how you board the AC buses- You wait in a line waiting for the doors to open, pay the conductor as you climb in, take your ticket, search for your seat , settle in the plush comfortable chair and listen to piped music as you enjoy the ride owing to the double wishbone suspension.

But in normal buses the motto simply is- every person for him/herself. Period.

By my estimates ,between the three of us, that day we elbowed atleast 4 men in the stomach, shoved 3 women (2 married), kicked aside 5 children (all unrelated) and nearly threw out a confused old gentleman.

I am NOT proud of what we did that day.

But somehow we all managed to get inside and plonk our asses on the first empty seats we saw (ironic considering they were in the last row). Finally ,after another 10 minutes of confusion with a million curses ringing in our ears, scratches covering our arms, pride in our hearts (all 3 of us managed to get seats) and a prayer on our lips we were off !

Now it was a pretty uneventful journey. Unless you count the the PYT in a yellow tee (seat 28) who HS kept ogling at throughout the journey. Or the Bengali loud motormouth house wife (seat 21) who kept making loud jokes and then looked around expectantly to see if anybody laughed (i yawned pointedly when our gazes met) Or the gentleman next to me who apparently worked in some hotel in pondy and invited me to the opening of a new pub there after i told him the purpose of our trip ("15% off for you sarrr ...") or the father(seat 24) who kept displaying his cute little toddler daughter so that the hot girl (seat 26) would play with her and he would get a chance to look at her and ogle at her.

Like i said. Pretty uneventfu.

Reaching pondy we checked into our hotel tired and hungry but super excited. We decided to go roaming right after our lunches but ,surprisingly, the 6 naans ,3 parathas , 4 chappatis that we consumed made us super sleepy and before we knew it we were asleep and it was evening.

Since we were pretty near to the beach we decide to walk, marveling on the way, at the mixture of old French bungalows and the newer building. We found this awesome pasta shop run by a Italian couple (which we never found afterwards, sadly) and houses with funny names.

Having lived in chennai for almost 10 years beaches are something i am accustomed to. But pondy has a rocky beach. So while you walk along it you get sprayed with water mist due to the water crashing on the rocks. An experience worth experiencing i tell you.

Now pondy is a pretty popular destinations with foreigners around every corner. I mean the place is teeming with them clicking photos of impoverished children, wrinkling their noses  at garbage, buying over priced fake 'genuine indian handicrafts' and in general experiencing 'Incredible India'. And after a while i decided to mess with them.

Walking along the beach every second person we saw was a firangi. So for every third couple that i saw i would walk upto them and ask in my politest voice 'Excuse me, could you please direct me to the beach ? '. And every single time they would stare at me, then at each other and then point to the beach right beside us. And i would say 'Thank You' politely and walk and sit on the rocks facing the ocean ,away from the afore mentioned couple so that they couldn't see my face contorted in silent laughter.

"atithi devo bhava" eh ? You fuck with us for 200 years and imma fuck with your minds on your vacations beyotches. Eat your heart out Aamir Khan :D



(to be continued...)

 --->; Yes i know this has nothing to do with my trip but i was super amusing and i just HAD to put it up.