This is to let you know i'm not dead..Just lazier than thou....

blow me down. It's been over a month since i logged into this place.My personal longest actually.

Not that it's something to be proud of.

I  lost 2 followers who ,i think, got pissed that i had stopped updating and stopped following.Ofcourse i don't mind the scathingly sarcastic remark that one of them left behind. If you are reading this post- it's all cool pal.

Now a few people did ask me why i had stopped posting. In fact i was even offered plausible causes as to what was stopping me from posting them  'brain farts' **.Had my life become suddenly so insanely dull that i had no funny stuff left to say? Nope. If anything it now had parts resembling a illogical yet bleedy phunny bollywood slapstick comedy.

And that's when I realised some messed up shit about myself. During the afore mentioned 'hibernation' period.Apparently i can write only when i am sad /depressed. Yes, all the funny stuff i wrote was when i was sad slash depressed. Now it may seem very nonsensical to you sensible people, but here is my reasoning-When i am sad i am able to appreciate the funny and happy parts of life more as compared to when my life is going smooth. Shitty logic right ? Yup, I think so too.

What else do you say when you're too fucked up ?

And also is it me or is writing a blog actually therapeutic ? I mean ever since i started making friends with my ex asshole-ey classmates ('ex' cuz they actually turned out to be a decent bunch of folks. Not great mind you, just...decent) i almost close to forgot this place.Coming back here, feels like visiting some long lost girlfriend with whom you had this deep groovy thing going on.

Weird analogy ,yes, but in my weird state of mind that's the best i could come up with.Fuck me.

Anywhoo i spent the better part of the last few hours reading up on everybody's writing. And i realised that while i am starting to sound like a whiny 5 year old brat everybody is beginning to show maturity in their writing.

And even worse is that the people who are writing such profound stuff are the ones blogrolling me.Scary thought that.

I think that's partly the reason why i didn't post. I mean my drafts folder is filling up faster than the titanic did after hitting that big 'ol iceberg. I have over 87 drafts of full posts that i couldn't bring myself to publish.Nothing just seems good enough to post in front of you guys anymore.And gals.(Yes i am being politically correct)

Damn you awesome writing people who are blogrolling me. You aren't good for my self esteem.Meh.

That apart my life is in such a volatile state i have stopped making plans.Cuz nothing is what it seems.I mean yes it's all good but everything is changing so fast you know ? New friends, new experiences, hell i have everything new except a new phone.


Anyone gifting me one will be held in the highest esteem for quite a few months to come.

Plus my 3rd year of engineering is almost over and i still don't know what to do. And not just academically but overall. I am confused as hell as to what do i wanna do with my life.I keep thinking i don't want to waste my life running the rat race but then i start to imagine some random aunt bragging about her US based son who earns a 6 digit salary. In dollars. And i get confused all the more.Such conflicting thoughts aren't good for me i tell you.

And yes 'the girl' isn't helping matters either.Dang it woman.


 
Looking back upon this post i realise that it is no better than the scribblings of a drunk raving about random things.Hell if i didn't know better i would say i was suffering from A.D.D... Oohhh look mommy a butterfly.. Nah i kid. Being able to write down my thoughts in a orderly manner should take some getting used to after all this time.

Do bear with me.

And yes it's so friggin' good to be back to you guys. And gals.( damn you political correctness. Again). And not to sound like a senti schmuck or anything but you guys are like my online family. Wait... that didn't sound gay did it ?

I think i will leave before i make an ass out of myself.

Toodles.




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