You disappointed me beyotch

Disclaimer: Am in a pissed of mood. So profanities will flow more freely than water. If you get easily offended by the 'f' word or hate ravings of an agonising adolescent .. then well ... FUCK OFF.

I am hurt/pissed. Can't make up my mind which one. But definitely one and possibly both.

Have you ever been really REALLY close friends with somebody of the opposite sex ? For those who haven't been let me tell you it is NOTHING like 'Jane tu ya jaane na'... Sorry to shatter your little dreams but yeah that's how it is lovies..

See when you are as much of a misanthropist and a cynic as yours truly you tend to have very few friends and take bloody long to trust 'em. But once you do trust 'em then well you get attached to them faster than dog poo does to your shoe when you step on it (okay that was a disgusting example.. bleargh..there goes my appetite)

We always used to tell each other i will always be there for you. And i will uphold that promise no matter what . But the million dollar question is- who is there for me ? Hmmm let me see....Ah yes.. NO-FUCKIN-BODY.

Not even one person ?

Nope. Nada.Nil.Zilch

I always try to be there for my friends as much as possible and all the more for her. But look at her. She seems to have a memory span shorter than a retarded housefly.

I mean i have listened to her through hours of her crying about things ranging from fights with friends to fear regarding her exam result. And we used to discuss everything from katy perry to the clothes she was gonna wear the next day.And now look at her, she seems to have forgotten my very existence.

Let's rewind a bit here: 3 weeks back out of the blue she tells me "I got committed yesterday, you know why ? Because i cant stop liking you so i am gonna forget you by trying to like XYZ".

Now i must admit i was a bit stunned.Wait. Cross that. Make that-BLOODY STUNNED.

No not about the part about her liking me.I mean i knew THAT.Infact even i did have a liking for her.Don't judge me.. Am only human after all.I mean come on ,try being really close friends with a person of opposite sex and you will see its bound to happen. A teeny bit of liking develops. Nothing serious though.

Anyways like a "good" friend i tried to be happy for her. I repeat- I tried.

But how can i be happy when she is behaving like an utter prick ? I mean i called her 3 days back and she still didn't call back. Not one even one fucking message asking me why i called.This from the same person who used to call me daily and sometimes in middle of the night before her exam because she was too tense.

And the worst part is i know she is talking daily or at the very least messaging HIM. She doesn't give a rat's ass i am sitting here hurt.And like a gullible fool i used to think she would be a life long friend. Hah she couldn't even last 4 years of college.Boo to you .

God i wish i could stop ignore her. Everything reminds me of the better times in our friendship.Even the gifts she gave me.Dammit am i turning in to a psycho ???!!! HEAVEN FORBID ...

Luckily the hurt is slowly turning into a dull throb. I mean i am starting to talk more with my other friends which helps a lot(Special thanks to 'em :P)

But what i can't stop thinking about how can a person change that much so fast ?? Ah well... let's give it up for the intricacies of the effing human mind *sigh* I suppose it's my fault for getting so attached. Dammit i need to get a LIFE.. Bah..

2 more years of college to go.

Let them be over soon *prays fervently*

:( :(