For sale:Guinea Pig

The good:

-Doesn't pee or poop when you are holding her

-Cute as hell... Attracts guys AND females .. So take your pick !

-Can be used to finish all the horrible vegetables like cauliflower and cabbage so that none is left for your mum to make for dinner.

- Doesn't bite even when annoying little bratty children pet her too much despite you telling them not to

- Will cuddle during cold, rainy days

- Good burglar alarm (Honest ! You see she gets really ravenous at night and will squeak at anybody passing by for food...So if a burglar does enter the house everybody will be woken up by her in an instant and then ....*BIFF*  *BANG* *OUCH* )



The bad:

- Is always hungry... Will squeak at anybody passing by for food..even if you are just going for a leak at 3 in the morning.

-Stinks up the cage real bad which then is a pain in the ARSE to clean..hmph

-Eats too much... Have to buy vegetables every week just to feed her

-Loyalty varies according to the person holding the carrot/cauliflower

-Cannot be kept in the same cage with a male guinea pig because will immediately start having sex with him leading to a lot of unnecessary (and unanswerable) questions from young sister and even younger neighbours' kids ("WHY is he on top of her and WHY are they both squeaking loudly ?)




Any questions ? She is free of charge...